Let the Emotions Flow!

Ok, so I'm now at 37 weeks and very ready for Kaelyn to come out now. I will definitely miss feeling her move and kick and squirm, but I'm so done with the rest of these pregnancy joys. I know its all apart of the experience, and I guess we can thank Eve for most of it, but I can't wait to hold my little girl.

I think Marc is ready as well. He got to spend a good amount of time holding some friends of ours little baby girl the other night. It was so cute cuz she was very much into him. She was smiling and cooing at him and then fell asleep in his arms while we were watching a movie. I think he's also ready because the last few nights I've been an emotional mess. I absolutely hate it when I'm being self-centered, but its just the way I feel these days. Like I'm going through all this so Marc should only do what I want. For example he wants to go to Waypoint's Christmas Show this week and I don't want him to because I want him home with me. Totally self-centered and then to make it worse I started listing a bunch of negative things just to try and prove my point that he should stay home with me. We got home and I felt awful about it, but then Marc was playing a game on his Iphone and I got upset again. After shutting the bedroom door in a somewhat loud manner, he realized I was upset and immediately came to talk to me. I knew I was being unreasonable, but I just wanted things my way, which made me cry more, because I hate being like this. I take joy in being a pretty laid back person and not very emotional, so it upsets me more when I'm like this. I just need to relax and not let my emotions right now get the best of me. It just feels that over the past few days my hormones have jumped up a few levels and all these emotions are right on the surface.

I know Marc is praying for me right now and many other friends and co-workers, so that is a definite blessing. I'm praying that Kaelyn will come next week, it would be perfect timing, but I am fully aware that these things almost never happen when you want them to happen, so I am trying to emotionally prepare myself for the long haul. No matter what, if Kaelyn has not come by the end of next week the 18th will be my last day at work. Just knowing that is a relief and helps. I think if I didn't have 8 hr work days to deal with on top of all the 9th month of pregnancy joys, things might be a little easier.

Tonight I plan on packing our suitcase for the hospital and Kaelyn's hospital bag as well. I am tasking Marc with getting the stroller and car seat set up and the base installed in our cars.

Well that's all for now. Tomorrow my doctor will be checking my progress, so we'll see what she says, but I'm pretty much expecting no real indication of how soon it will be.